Dateline, Evanston. Scoop Molyneux reporting in. I've collected solid proof that Illinois is NOT Utah.
This morning I left home to walk to the bus stop at the usual time, 8:30. As usual, I turned the corner past a coffee shop with free wireless Internet access. But I noticed that today there was an unusually small number of patrons enjoying their morning fix at tables outside the shop, even more unusual because this was a nice, sunny morning (an infrequent occurrence the last week).
But what surprised me wasn't the lack of people itself but the presumed reason for their absence. Among the tables on the sidewalk stood an Oriental woman with short salt-and-pepper hair. Her feet were apart, slightly more than her shoulders, and her arms were spread wide, thought not stretched. Her hands were dangling limply from her wrists as though a puppeteer held her there in suspended animation. As I looked, I saw her sway from side to side as if in the slight breeze, without blinking or showing any expression whatsoever on her face. I said to myself, "Self, I am not in Kansas anymore."
Yesterday I saw a man, who I would guess was in his 50s, riding down the street with a small one-speaker radio taped to the crossbar of his bicycle. So much for headphones. He was playing something like Kenny G loud enough for me to hear on the other side of the street. I saw some pretty goofy things in Brazil, even goofier than this, but the bike/radio system was new. I said to myself, "Self, now I have seen it all."
Chief among the evidence in my investigation is the fact that one of my professors said the F-word four times in class yesterday. It was in the context of a couple of offensive speech cases ("... and the guy's jacket said 'F*** the Draft.'"), but he still had no problem saying it in front of us. I did hear a BYU professor say that word once (*gasp*), when I was the only other person in the room and he was reading a song title, but here, class is like a PG-13 movie.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the classes and learning quite a bit, but (surprise) Northwestern is not BYU.
Scoop Molyneux, Hillogan News.
1 comment:
An eye for an eye, my long-limbed friend: Maybe the salt-and-pepper woman and Mr. Kenny G saw you and thought to themselves, "Selves, that fellow is definitely NOT from around here." ...or maybe not. Either way, it was a very entertaining blog!
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